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'Nightcaps' is a daily column that catches you up on the biggest sports, news and culture stories you may have missed while pretending to do work at your desk. It runs Monday–Friday on OutKick.com.
First Thursday of football season. First real Thursday of football season. You know what that means, right?
Happy unofficial start to your weekend! Around here, weekends in the fall start on Thursdays — and for good reason.
We've got football all over the globe tonight. Obviously, the big one is the Rams-Niners in Melbourne, which technically takes place tomorrow morning at 10:30 a.m.
NFL PUSHES DEEPER INTO STREAMING AS NETFLIX LANDS AUSTRALIA GAME AMID FCC, DOJ SCRUTINY
We've also got a MASSIVE college game tonight. And by massive, I mean the point spread. No. 7 Miami is currently a 59.5 point favorite of FAMU. That has to be one of the largest point spreads I've ever seen.
It's on ACC Network, for those interested!
On that note, welcome to a Thursday Nightcaps — the one where Donald Trump was most certainly NOT interested in watching last night's football game.
Lordy. What a ballgame. Not a good ballgame, by any means, but a ballgame nonetheless.
What else? I've got Aaron Rodgers stuffing poor Danica Patrick in a locker, Boston radio stations are in absolute shambles today, and ESPN reporter Taylor McGregor continues to captivate America this week.
She was dominant during Monday night's power outage in Tallahassee, and she followed it up by arguing with a parking attendant during a radio interview earlier today.
What a week.
OK, let's get this thing going. Thursday night football is finally back. No time to waste.
Grab you a TV dinner for National TV Dinner Day, and settle in for a Thursday 'Cap!
Before we start ... man, do I miss TV dinners. The best. Obviously, I grew up in the 90s, so Kid Cuisine was my weapon of choice.
I feel like my mom fed me at least four of those a week. If I tried to even sneak one into my house nowadays for the kids, my wife would have me arrested.
MAHA moms are built different.
Hungry Man was great, too. That's the one that started it all, right? Those things weighed a literal ton out of the freezer. You could kill a man with one of those boxes.
But Lordy, they were good:
Amazing. What a commercial. They just don't make 'em like that anymore. Nowadays, it's all Big Pharma ads and insurance. We had it so good, and we just pissed it all away.
Sad.
Anyway, let's go ahead and get this class started with Donald Trump declaring last night's midterm party vs. NFL opener a triumphant SUCCESS!
"The Republican Midterm Convention last night, in Dallas, was a major, sold-out hit, far bigger, better, and more important than anyone thought possible," Trump said via Truth Social.
"It was really something, streaming all over the place, and really big numbers, despite going up against the NFL. The overall numbers beat the NFL. The Arena, which was really nice, beat its own attendance records. The place was packed! There were thousands of people outside who couldn’t get in. Screens were provided. I guess people LOVE TRUMP POLITICS! I’ll be there again tonight to close out the show."
Amazing. Between that declaration and the $5,000 we're all getting in a few months if we play ball, it was a great night!
Look, I have no clue if that's true. Did Trump's convention speech beat the NFL opener ... on NBC? I doubt it. I do know that those numbers aren't even out yet, so I'm not sure they're accurate regardless.
I will say ... he didn't miss much. What an awful game. A great game, because it's football, but a pretty horrible game for three quarters.
Drake Maye was a disaster. AJ Brown got hurt. Sam Darnold played five snaps and then missed the rest of the game.
Maybe stop shoving Pats-Seahawks down our throats, NFL? Ever think about that?
On that note, let's check in with Boston radio today as the Pats start the year 0-1:
THE CRAIG CARTON SHOW–UNFILTERED, UNAPOLOGETIC AND UNMISSABLE. DOWNLOAD HIS DAILY PODCAST NOW!
Football fans are the best. We wait nine months for our teams to play again. We suffer all winter long. We yearn for game days. We spend all summer counting down to kickoff.
And then, just like that, we're immediately pissed and want the whole thing blown up. It's like clockwork, every single year.
For what it's worth ... Maye was really, truly horrible last night. Just a baffling fourth quarter out of him, and I'm not even a big Maye fan.
Even I was stunned by this throw:
As a miserable Dolphins fan who had to suffer through Tua ... that fourth quarter gave me some pretty concerning flashbacks, Pats fans.
I'm just saying.
OK, let's rapid-fire this Thursday class into a big night of FOOTBALL. First up? A quick PSA for everyone that tonight's Rams-Niners game is on NETFLIX.
That's right. You're gonna have to subscribe to another streaming app to watch the second NFL game of the season:
Look, I think it's beyond dumb to put an NFL game behind a paywall. It's ridiculous, but that's the world we now live in.
I fear it ain't going anywhere, either.
That being said ... what an incredible promo by Netflix. Fair is fair, and I'm ready to run through a brick wall after that.
It also gives me the chance to bring Minka Kelly back to class. We simply can't have a Friday Night Lights-NFL promo and NOT check in with the star of that show:
Looks like she's doing well.
Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose!
OK, two more on the way out. How about this humdinger from Aaron Rodgers about Danica Patrick on Cam Heyward's podcast this morning:
"I dated Danica. She had just retired. She was depressed and not fun to be around. But I didn’t leave her because I was trying to be there and be a good partner. Then it was going a certain direction, obviously. There was no intimacy; there was nothing," Rodgers said in the second part of the interview, which dropped Thursday morning.
"She tells a story that she was so blindsided and getting left by you, and that he leaves a trail of blood around him. And I’m like, what are you talking about? That’s not what happened."
Lordy. Rodgers, of course, wasn't done! Apparently, Danica tried to co-sign the mortgage with him on a new house in Malibu, and he wasn't having it.
"I’m buying a house in Malibu, and she goes, ‘Do you want to buy it together?’ And I said no. And she said, ‘You know what that means then?’ And I said, ‘Yeah, that’s the way things are going.’ She said, ‘Well, let’s get counseling.’ Then we got counseling. Then COVID hits and we’re stuck together."
My God. COVID was bad enough. Now you're putting Aaron Rodgers and an apparently "no fun" Danica Patrick in the same house together?
Sounds like a blast!
OK, that's it for today. Good work, everyone. Long class, but an important one.
Here's ESPN's newest star, Taylor McGregor, getting a parking ticket while doing a live radio hit.
See you tomorrow.
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